CALL HIM ABBA - The meaning behind the brand
Reclaiming the word
“Oh my gosh, I cannot believe it’s you!”
As we walked out of the restaurant, a group of young women stopped my wife and I saying this exact thing.
We were out to eat at a new hip restaurant in the Washington Park District of Denver, Colorado. It was a brand new Mexican place that is incredibly popular with Denver young adults and young professionals.
Always difficult to find a seat, full of gaggling girls 2 margarita’s deep on a girls night out, or a 2nd Hinge date after the initial ice cream meet up went well, the place was popping on a Friday evening.
We certainly looked the part. I was wearing a denim shirt that many 20-30 something Denverites had said “that’s a cool shirt” a phrase that caused me to wear it far too frequently. I had one of those rope hats on that all the guys are wearing (you know the type). Had to show the picture below just in case. Mostly though because of the incredible lettuce coming out the back from this dude’s hat, little dual exhaust coming out both ends. Gorgeous.
My wife was also looking the part, wearing some combination of a shirt and jeans that looked great. This is my best definition of what she was wearing. It is utterly lacking in detail, because I am not totally sure how to describe women’s clothing in a way men understand. Long story, short, she was looking hot.
We fit in great with the 20-30-40 crowd in Denver. We ordered a couple of cocktails, some overpriced guacamole and were having a great time. People were probably looking at me going, “that guy probably drives a Toyota 4-Runner, and owns at least 5 different types of vests.”
And then the scream.
From under our table, someone screamed. People to the left of us looked over at us.
People from the right looked over at us.
My wife leaned down under the table and grabbed the culprit.
My 5 month son.
You see we were out on the town that night, but our son was still nursing so of course we had to bring him with us. I don’t drive a Toyota 4-Runner, I drive a Toyota Sienna Mini-van and we valet parked it.
When I dropped it off at the valet stand, the high school kid got in it to park it and said “my mom used to drive one of these when I was young, great memories.” Now my rope hat didn’t look as cool.
My wife sipped on her elderflower cocktail, and I drank my giant margarita (definitely felt that one, driving the mini-van home that night) as our son joined the 20-30-40’s out on the town for a fun Friday night.
As we enjoyed passing the baby back and forth throughout our dinner, a group of the gaggling girls next to us began to really stare. In public, the rule of thumb I go by is you get two glances at a stranger. One to get an understanding of what’s going on, the second to confirm the first glance.
They took far more than two. At one point, it seemed like they were staring at my wife, baby and I. Then they started pulling out their phones, and laughing, looking at their phones and then looking at my wife.
As they wrapped up their dinner, they walked by and looking at the baby said “he is so cute”, and walked out of the restaurant.
We shook off the weird encounter, finished our dinner, paid and then walked out the front to the valet counter. And I muttered under my breath “it’s the grey minivan” to the valet guy, I noticed that the gaggling girls from inside were standing next to us also waiting on their car.
One of them stopped by wife and said ““Oh my gosh, I cannot believe it’s you!”
My wife looked very confused. The girl responded “Aren’t you Bobbi Althoff?”
After an awkward moment of my wife explaining that her name was Emily, not Bobbi, the gaggling girls all gaggled some more and then explained that they had thought my wife was Bobbi Althoff- a popular female influencer and podcaster who hosts the “The Really Good Podcast” where she interviews celebrities like Drake, Shaq, Wiz Khalifa and others.
If they would have just waited for the valet guy to pull up with our minivan that would have guaranteed that they knew my wife wasn’t a famous influencer.
As we drove home, we laughed to ourselves about the whole situation.
But then the conversation started to go deeper.
Call Her …. Daddy
As we drove home, my wife began to research this Bobbi girl, and look at her podcast. She immediately texted her college aged sister- recanting the story of how the gaggling girls mistook her for Bobbi Althoff.
Of course, her younger sister knew all about Bobbi Althoff and her podcast, said that her and all her friends are huge listeners. Not being on social media besides LinkedIn, and Strava ( and a little bit of GoodReads) this was fascinating to me. That an entire generation of women was learning what it meant to be a women from a series of podcasts with an already once divorced 27 year old mother of two.
Yet nothing could prepare me for what I learned next. As I opened up my Podcast app and searched my wife’s supposed doppleganger podcast, I came across a recommended Podcast entitled “Call Her Daddy.” I had never heard of it before, so I did what any Millennial would do, I googled it.
What I found floored me.
“Call Her Daddy” in 2021, 2022, 2023 was ranked the number one podcast for women in the US.
Second most listened to Podcast on Spotify behind Joe Rogan.
Host, Alex Cooper, is on the Forbes top 20 creators list with a net worth of $20 million
In the last 4 years the Podcast has signed a $60 million deal with Spotify, and more recently a $100 million deal with SiriusXM
76% of listeners are women under the age of 40
If you are not familiar with the podcast, it is a self described “open and honest dialogue about topics created by women for women that are too ‘taboo’ to be discussed in main stream media.” Discussions revolve around topics such as “sex talk, tricking men into taking medication for sexual advances, multiple partner sex, sending ‘nudes’ “ and a variety of other topics that would leave most baby boomers thinking they were listening to a pornographic movie. The most recent episode is entitled “drugs, dogs and d$ck appointments” if that paints a good enough picture for you.
Perhaps most troubling however, is the name.
When asked about the idea behind the name “Call Her Daddy”, host Alex Cooper “suggested women should be seen as powerful by calling them — rather than men — "Daddy."1
"Daddy Gang" is the term Cooper uses to describe the show's fanbase. When asked further the host said “it is meant to convey the idea that women can be dominant and in control both in life and in the bedroom, and that they are just as capable as men.”
And just remember it is this content that is the 4th biggest podcast in the world. And the biggest for female audiences. It is this idea that is being sown in the hearts and minds of 20 and 30 somethings all around the world that have been so hurt, and broken in their life (probably by men) that they would rather be called “Daddy” than find a man heroic enough to be called “Father.”
The word, Dad, or Daddy, or Father, I would argue is the most powerful word in the world. There is no greater name under the earth than the name of Father.
And the world, and the culture is so desperate to destroy this idea, this word, that they will take that word, and twist into a sexualized, confused, painful, domineering word that men should call their female counterpart in the bedroom.
Call Him … Abba
What I want to do is to reclaim this word.
But not reclaim just a word, but reclaim an identity for generations upon generations of men.
For those who are not aware, the word Abba is an old Aramaic word that translates to English as a personal, endearing term for Father. It is the closest word in the Aramaic language to describe “Daddy.”
The word Dad, Father, Daddy is a term of identity. One can only be called “Dad, or Father” when they actually become a Dad. A young man cannot one day arise in the morning and say to himself “I want to be a Dad” and all of sudden be holding a child who is biologically his.
It would equally crazy for that same young man to arise in the morning and declare “I am a NBA basketball player” while not having played competitive basketball since the 6th grade.
No the name Father, Daddy, Dad is the recognition of the identity of that person in relation to one self. My friends do not call me Dad, for I am of course not their Father. My wife does not call me Daddy, because I am not that in relation to her. But my children do, because indeed I am their Dad.
Taking back “Daddy”
In order to take back the word Dad or Father, we have to own the meaning of it. We have to live a life, and possess a character that is worthy of being called so high a name. A Father is one who is responsible, who has been given a duty to protect and to provide. A Father is one who lives with the gravitas of knowing that others rely on him. A Father is a creator, bringing life to that which once had none. A Father is willing to take ownership of his life, and the lives of those who are entrusted to him.
It is one thing to be called Dad, but it is quite another to live like one. Over the next year, my hope is to build a community of men who are dedicated to this idea. Who are disgusted by the Call Her Daddy mindset but are inspired by the Call Him Abba mantra.
If this is something you want, if this a name you want to not only be called but to possess, please like and subscribe.
If you know a man who needs to hear this message, share it with him, it could be the first time he puts on and owns the nametag of “Abba” in his family, work or life.
Next week, we will dive into the question of “Who can be called Abba, or Father?” What if I don’t have kids does this still apply to me? What can I do to live this way whether I am married, singled, or dating?
https://www.mediafeed.us/blog-posts/call-her-daddy-from-controversial-conversations-to-kamala-harris