The HOA : Habits Of Abba

Welcome to the HOA: Your Sunday newsletter with 3 recommendations to live the CHA (Call Him Abba) mindset

To be fully able to be called "Abba," we as men have to be obsessed with forming ourselves—not for selfish gain or the admiration and compliments of others. Not forming ourselves so that we can be the fittest, smartest, most well-read, or most successful man in the room. No, rather, we must form ourselves so that we can give ourselves away to others.

We must form ourselves so that others may depend on us. We must be the strong foundation on which others can build a house.

To be physically formed so that we can play with our kids on the floor when they are 5 years old, shoot hoops with them when they are 12, and be a part of their lives when they are 50 or 60.

To be intellectually formed so that we can think through the complex problems of our world, ecosystems, jobs, and families with a sound mind. To be able not to take the opinions and noise of the world at face value but to wrestle with them with a mind strong enough to fight.

To be humanly formed through building good habits so that we have the natural virtue to wake up on time, schedule our priorities, and create a life where we can balance all our responsibilities in the right order.

To be reliable mentally, emotionally, physically, and psychologically so that others—whether a spouse, girlfriend, co-worker, subordinate, or child—can come to us and know they can trust us.

Each Sunday, I will provide my three recommendations for how men can form themselves based off my experience:

• Intellectually

• Physically

• Humanly (Habitually)

Here are this week’s HOA (Habits of Abba) recommendations:

Intellectual Formation

Read “Steve Jobs” A biography written by Walter Isaacson.

Linked Here → (Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson).

The book provides a deep dive into Steve Jobs’ life, from his early days tinkering in his garage to building Apple into one of the most valuable companies in the world. It paints a vivid picture of how his unique personality, vision, and leadership style shaped the modern tech landscape. However, my favorite part is that it also presents, in a very real way, the cost to his family, co-workers, and friends—many of whom were left hurt, verbally abused, forgotten, and unloved in the wake of Steve Jobs’ ambition. I finished it last week, and it was truly a chilling read.

It left me asking myself: “What is the cost of success? And is it worth it?” A question that we must wrestle with as men.

Physical Formation

Track Alcohol Intake and eliminate Frequent “Night Caps”

To start, I love drinking alcohol. I joke that I’ve never met an alcohol I don’t like—from Miller Lite to a New England IPA, from an Old Fashioned to a Gin Martini, from a Cabernet to a Pinot Grigio. I enjoy them all. I especially love making cocktails for good friends at our house as an act of hospitality.

However after 6 months of wearing a Whoop Fitness Band (Linked Here→ (WHOOP HIGH PERFORMANCE WEARABLE) I have discovered two things.

1. I was drinking more than I thought.
   The WHOOP band allows you to track daily habits like prayer, caffeine intake, exercise, and more. I’ve been tracking my number of alcoholic drinks on it, and it’s amazing how much drinking I was doing without realizing it. Social gatherings, time with friends, work-related drinks, a drink while traveling—it all added up. There were many weeks where I was hitting 10 drinks.

2. It was drastically affecting my sleep.
   "When alcohol remains in your system at bedtime, the body must devote resources to processing it. As a result of this ongoing background activity, sleep is lighter and less restorative. Sleep quality is reduced, and recovery suffers. Your body’s ability to take on strain and perform the next day is also negatively impacted. Both exercise performance and the benefits of workouts are limited. Reducing alcohol intake increases the incidence of restorative sleep and boosts metrics like heart rate variability (HRV) and recovery."

It’s hard to show up and be present for your responsibilities each morning when your body hasn’t gotten the rest it needs to perform.

Human Formation (Habit Formation)

Lay out Clothes for Next Day Before Bed

It is something I started doing a few years ago after reading “Atomic Habits” by James Clear Linked Here→ Atomic Habits .

• It fosters a habit of planning ahead, leading to better overall organization in your daily routine.

• By deciding the night before, you save mental energy for more important decisions during the day. As a father of three, patriarch of the family, manager at work, husband, son, and friend, I make hundreds of decisions a day. Not having to choose what to wear in the morning takes one more thing off my plate.

• For early exercisers like me, having workout clothes laid out makes it way easier to get up and lift or go for a run without hesitation in the morning.

Chasing What Matters,

John Michael Lucido